My birthday!!!

Has your all aware my birthday is coming up and i thought of 2 places to visit...Lincoln and Newcastle!!!

The best thing to come out of newcastle is the geordie dancer and if we saw this guy i think all my birthdays would have come at once!

Its still early days in the planning but let me no..over and out!
Jack

Steve's Phobia

Think i've found the reason why steve dosnt like roller coasters.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wwPeSDCCAs


(sory about the quality)

Ha ha hahahah he hehehehe

oh yeah sorry jack had to take your game off was messing with the blog. If you can find it anywhere else that would be cool. How hard is that game! I don't remeber it being that hard Ahh brings back memories does Donkey Kong

Joint Birthday- The Plan

God I feel like crap. Either the curry kicked in a week late or I'm paying for not cleaning the kitchen for a week. Either way, 3, yes 3 toilet rolls in a day. That's a personal best. Anyways thought I would mention that as well as:

THE PLAN:

After talking to Andy and Steve we have decided that we would like to go to Sheffield for a night out. No gay limousines or owt just a piss up and a hotel for the night. Looking at the 30th of this month. Prob get there for 2-3 o'clock check in and all that then get pissed

Dave suggests this hotel

http://www.hotel-bristol.co.uk/tariff.php . Your looking at£55 for that

I checked theMarriottt Tom and its fully booked.However there is also:

http://www.hilton.co.uk/sheffield. Says £90 odd on the website but £68 on lastminute.com

Also

http://www.premiertravelinn.com/pti/checkHotelAvailability.do;jsessionid=CE6897B26CA3B4B46208370398E60ACB

for your bog standard. We all know what their like and come in a pound cheaper than the Bristol at £54

There's plenty of small bed and breakfast that charge less, But I aint stopping in one of those so If anyone wants too they can take a look for themselves

Cheers
Burls

Do you know the what the worst thing about working nights is you can't have a nice relaxing beer.

What I'm I doing???????? I'm still on nights and I'm about to crack. Does anybody fancy a pint Saturday afternoon?(I could do with one) Should be back in Scunny at 12:45 in the p.m. If you fancy a drink give me a bell as i'm so terribley bored.




The Army dig in.
The Navy sail in.
The Air Force check in.

It Used to be About the Booze greatest hits

Tell you what if your ever board try looking at some of the archived posts on here. Some of them are hilarious. My personal favorite has to be Jacks post "Which super hero are you" from june 2006. The post it self is shit but the comments are comedy gold.

And so it begins.......

another long night shift with nothing to do but look to the stars and see if theres any aircraft up there that need 'controlling' (Thats how we do it you know, those RADAR screens you see in the movies are just made up by hollywood to stop you all going nuts when you go on your holidays. We do it all with the naked eye and bits of string and don't get me started with the 'moon' landings).......anyway back to the point??? I just thought I'd canvers public opinon on where will we be watching the football on Sunday. Queensway asusual?!?!?! For those of you with an apetite for the physical Chris 'captain marvel' Short, Jack 'My Mum Could Of Done Better' Haughey and not forgetting Graham 'Av in some, bite your legs, chopper' Dixon are in action for Trinity on Sunday afternoon. I know that under normal circumstances Liverpool V's Chelsea & Man Utd V's Arsenal would take presidance but the sheer factor of Jacks comedy hair getting bigger as he gets more shagged out is hard to miss! I may go along to watch this game and cheer the lads on to victory and laugh at Jack when he makes some kind of inevitable hideous defensive error leading to a goal or he scores an own goal or he falls over or he falls over scoring an own goal whilst getting sent off. All of which he is almost certain to do. Anyway seriously is anybody going to watch the football and/or the comedy show at Fred Goth?

Bye for now sports fans!

Tripple Birthday Do for the Old Gits

Me steve and andy have our birthdays all round the same time so we was thinking of doing something on the 29th\30th september. Afew ideas have been banded about already but I would like to get things finalised in case Ihave to book anything

Let me know your thoughts

Cheers

Burls

Burleys deli belly

1 Year Old- So many memories, all blurred by beer

From its humble beginings at 8.12pm on Sunday the 11th September 2005 the "About the Booze blog has taken on a life of its own. Indeed, it seems to have developed its own ideology which means, and I quote "the unifying system of beliefs, attitudes, and values expressed in the superstructure of a culture. The body of thought and ideas that guides a society and perpetuates the status quo of the bourgeoisie". How quality is that definition and I think it applies to what's happened in many ways to us lot and the blog, sorry to get deep on you but its all quite fascinating really

I guess at the time I was bored (and more than likely slighty pissed) and fustrated at our seemingly ineffectual attempts to plan any sort of event or day out. Im happy to report the "About the Booze" website has done nothing to help with this at all and has at times made things worse. But hey, at least we get to see funny photo's while were at it

One of the other reasons for me (and where the name of the blog came from) was the fact that were all getting older, moving about more, and getting into serious relationships (for some of you at least). For anyone who dosen't know, "it used to be about the booze" is a play on "it used to be about the music" a reference of what the Beatles may, or may not, have said to John Lennon when he got with Yoko Ono. Thanks to our resident comedian Ric for that one. However, as I can't even play a triangle and I would guess the rest of you are just as musically gifted, we have to stick with what we know, which is booze.

Another point is that although we don't all post or comment, everyone looks at it. We get the usually suspects but its good to know that it looked at by us all. I think this is one of the main reason we've managed to last this long. And too be fiar its quite an acheivement. This is from a recent report:

"Perseus claimed that the average duration of the remaining 1.63 million abandoned blogs was 126 days, with some 132,000 blogs being abandoned after a year or more. The oldest abandoned blog surveyed had been maintained for 923 days. "

So the average blog is 126 days old. 365 aint bad
Also this

"Apparently the blog-hosting services have made it so easy to create a blog that many tire-kickers feel no commitment to continuing the blog they initiate. In fact, 1.09 million blogs were one-day wonders"

I wonder what the year would have been like without the blog? who knows it may even have been better but I for one have enjoyed reading it

Some statistics from our blog

365 Days old- Yey!!!!
6664 Visitors
335 Posts
First Comment- "u geek burly"
1983 unique hits- (not us)
11 Members
Alot of piss ups

Anyway this was quite along post but Im proud to be fair


Here's to us lot and "it used to be about the booze"

See you all around

Cheers

Burls

Rick and Turkey as bouncers!

i AM BOARD SHITLESS

All I've done today is vandalize Jacks myspace. Its quite good fun. Get on there and read his made up profile, what he really thinks of Scunthorpe (some gobbledygook about a volcano?????), look at his friends (this is the best part of his 'space') and leave him a message with those fridge magnets!

Hours of fun for all the family!

Football Saturday! Hangover Sunday!

As it seems Oldham is a no go, is anybody interested in watching the footy in Queensway? Everton V's Liverpool K.O 1245pm then Manchester United V's Tottenham Hotspurs K.O 1715pm.
I could do with a good ol' fastioned booze up as my job is so terrible boring at the moment. Obviously Dave, Turkey & Shorty will need to get permission from their WAGS.
Let me know of your plans!!







***** STARS = The Navey navigate by them, the Army sleep under them and the Air Force chose their hotels by them *****

Email Addresses Please

Some of the email addresses you've got registered on your profiles are wrong. Could you please up date them when you get chance.

By the way is that your Dads email address Andy? If you want your own ill invite you to join googlemail if you want. Let me know

There's a hole in my bucket

Burls

Pub Tonight?

Any1 fancy watching England game 2night in a pub?

Pub Tonight?

Any1 fancy watching England game 2night in a pub?

ENGLAND vs MACEDONIA

Anyone intrested in going to watch England Vs Macedonia, Saturday October 7th 2006 at Old Trafford, Manchester

Tickets start at £23(including admin and booking fees) for the cheapest seats, but i can also get other seats at £33 depending what everyone fancied, having said that are seats were £23 and the view was pretty good for what we paid.

Let me know asap, and id need the money in full...asap

If we can get 8 people we could get a mini-bus straight there and avoid the shitty train journey, which going there was fine it was just coming back...tram broke down,then a train that stopped at every village in the north...and they didnt sell any beer..grrrr

So let me know names and numbers quickly and il see what i can do

Jack

It Used to be About the Booze

Just a quicky. Any body fancie Oldham away on Saturday?

Death of a Legend

Steve Irwin is dead! Apparently a sting ray did it by sticking him through the chest with its barbed tail

A moment of silence please for this great, yet slightly crazy man

Steve your with us in spirit if not in body

All quite on the Eastern front

Slow work day today


Test for Dementia


Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer
them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them
immediately. OK?


Let's find out just how clever you really are....



Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)












First Question:

You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What
position are you in?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are
absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his
place,
you are second!

Try not to screw up next time.
Now answer the second question,
but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?

Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
(scroll down)



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong
again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?


You're not very good at this, are you?






Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only.
Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.



Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30.
Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000
Now add 10. What is the total?


Scroll down for answer.....









~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100.



If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you'll get the last question right....
....Maybe.



Fourth Question:

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini,
4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?







~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you Answer Nunu?
NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary. Read the question again!



Okay, now the bonus round:

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By
imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully
expresses himself to the shopkeeper and! the purchase is
done.
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of
sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




He just has to open his mouth and ask...
It's really very simple.... Like you!





PASS THIS ON TO FRUSTRATE THE
SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!

JE SUIS LE TAXI

Jacks own Blog?

Jack or "Fizz" as he's known to some may have his own blog that he's been keeping from us!
Check out the pixture on the guys profile on the right of the blog. same hair cut and everything, although the nose is alot smaller but it is a drawing so he may have used some artistic descrection and to be honest with a conk that big you would wouldn't you

http://angryginger.blogspot.com/

I look forward to Jack's usual inane replies. I yawn in advance

England 1966....the video says it all

Ghandi's Revenge

Any one for a curry?
We was talking last night and we should get a curry night sorted out. Go for a few beers and have a curry about half nine or something. Was thinking next Saturday night or something. Let me know what you think

Upna Khyal Rakhna
Burls

Thats right I'm the 'DICEMAN'

What should I do? We all ask this question everyday, so I've decided to let fate decide. No matter how big the decitions I'm going to assign a number to them and let the dice decide. I have a number of options open to me this weekend. This friday sees the return of the legendary 'walkback' (19 pubs from west drayton to uxbridge)
Start time 1330
Finish time 0130 (well about 11 for me, curse my old bones)
The problem is me and some of the other 'boozers' are off to Manchester to watch England on Saturday so I have a number of options of how to spend my friday night.

1: Complete the walk back and head home to Scunny bright and early on saturday and go stright to Manc (the obvious pitfall is I wont get up in time, the last time I tried to do this was after the Beer Festivel and i didn't make it back while gone 1700)

2: As above but head stright for manchester meet you there missing out scunny

3: Just do the first few pubs then head back to Scunny (Pissed up but will at leased be there)

4: Stright home stright to bed! (well almost if I take this option I'll be home around fiveish friday afternoon, My prefered choice but will the dice be kind??)

5: Go watch scunny play gillingham friday night, head home stright afterwards or saturday morning public transport permitting. (bit of a wast in time/money/life)

6: None of the above!

Let the Dice decide! you can play along at home to if you like just roll a die check the number with the corrosponding option and tell me what fate has decided for me. Remember the dice say is final!

I'm now operating on a higher plane than you idiots who let your brains to all the hard work like a bunch of suckers. Just sit back and roll the dice.

Has anybody got any dice I can borrow?!?!?!?!?!?

URBAN SPRINTING

Urban sprinting, could this be the next big sport were actually good at?

Pics from sunday night

SOME PICS FROM SUNDAY...ADD YOUR OWN CAPTIONS!

Where?

Where are we playing footy tomorrow????
Sombody take there camera phone and will do a cross bar challenge

FROG SONG!!!

I found it...sorry steve but this will do your head in now!

Can't post vids so...........

Post your fav comedy clips

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KE3g-N27A9k

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLtXx2349yA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hp69rg6Hdlo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjC3R6jOtUo&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1sQkEfAdfY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiFq_nk8pE0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mu02xUgE4k

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1sQkEfAdfY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ope-1Zb5t-k

Matrix Cow

Funniest thing ive seen in ages

ANOTHER SPORTING TRIP..UPDATE

Regarding the England match against andorra(2/9/06)
There is now 1 ticket left, after rick said he had signed up with the fa, but couldnt get hold of any internet access to purchase tickets, i did it for him.
3 have already gone so there is 1 left.
Who ever gives me money 1st gets it.

However if there more of you that want to go, if u go to the offical FA website and sign up, there is the chance you can purchase more tickets. Or go to manutd.com and theres a phone number to ring for tickets on general sale(cost £10 more then members price)

Jack

Another Sporting Trip

Anybody interested in going to watch England v Andorra
0n the 02/09/06.

Cost£30 Let me know ASAP

Chav Jokes

1. What do you call a Chav in a box?
Innit.
2. What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted
3. What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?
Safe.
4. What do you call an Eskimo Chav?
Innuinnit.
5. Why are Chavs like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs.
6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.
7. You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
It might be your bike.
8. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.
9. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
"What you lookin' at?"
10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
Paint three stripes on it.
11. Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
The police
12. What do you call a Chav with 9 GCSEs?
A liar.
13. What do you say to a Chav with a job?
Can I have fries with that?
14. What do you say to a Chav in a suit?
Will the defendant please stand
15. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame?
A Nova seats 4
16. What do you call a 30 year old chavette?
Granny.
17. What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river?
A start.
18. Why did the Chav cross the road?
To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.
19. What do you call a Chav at college?
The cleaner.
20. Two chavs jump off beachy head, who wins?
Society

Hope I don't give Jack flash backs!

BANK HOLIDAY MONDAY

Just wondering if anybody has any ideas/plans for this bank holiday weekend??
No doubt beer is on the agenda, but lets try and stay out later then midnight,people!!!

And dont use the.."im getting old" excuse!
Although Burley has a valid excuse, he can no longer see the bar at that time so goes home, then again he walks round with his eyes shut so he cant see anything at all really?!
Anyways people, let me know

Cheers!!!!

THROW THE JEW DOWN THE WELL

Wakey wakey!!!!

I See Drunk People

Poor bloke. Another great night out. Tom got a chinese, Turkey and Susan had an arguement, a group of women played with Jacks hair, Jack and Andy were the last 2 leave. All the ingredents of another great night out and standard to About the Booze piss ups

Althought 2 things happended that I cant explaine. 1) A girl spoke to me (but i think she prob thought I was someone else so thats explained) 2) Iv'e broken my little toe on the left foot by stubbing my toe (which happened sunday morning. I knew I should have staid in bed)

I had a good night apart from that. We'll maybe cus of that who knows

love and kisses

Burls

Madness

I found this funny.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/5261856.stm

Laws I Hate You!

Well, well, well

another perfectly good saturday wasted. The day started of badly and got worse. First we got the wrong train and had to change at Donny (Where the R.A.C lived up to there name by running away from some mean looking girls). As we approached Rotherham or Barter town (from mad max 3) which it looks a lot like, we we're again forced to use are running away skills from this nasty looking bunch of school children. Next up find a pub! Easy or so you'd think. Asking a copper where the best place to have drink was he said "follow the road down and theres a nice little boozer". What he ment was go down here and theres a shithole selling pissy beer for £2.50 and no sky sports. On entering the ground (£20 to get in and it does look a bit like the thunderdome, Steve said he thought he saw Tina Turner but it turned out to be Mad Mick in a wig) we were witness to what can only be described as complete and utter dog shit, the third worst football match I've ever seen. (The worst being loosing to Donny 5 nil and the infamous 2-1 home defeat by Chester City). When the horror show was over the terror continued with a two hour train ride home with people that can only be described as human vermin! So to sum up the day £40 down the drain and 8 hours of my life I'l never get back. Why do we bother?

But I won some money off Shorty so its not all bad!

Burlys Bird

Whilst out last night Burls confessed that he loves big birds. Guess I was just getting the wrong end of the stick again.

DISCO MOTOR BIKE MAN

A CLASSIC CLIP FROM LAST YEAR!!!

EXTREME PICNIC IS COMING!!!

BANK HOLIDAY THIS MONTH, AN IDEA OF BURLS....EXTREME PICNIC IS COMING!!!!

Couple of hours to waste????

http://unoriginal.co.uk/stormthehouse.html

For some unknown reason I can't post links from this works machine. If you've got a bit of time to waste while your in the office (I'm looking at you Burley) why not try this lovely game. I made it to day 49 before my arm got tired (and I've got a lot of practise with my right arm over the years) Good night and Good luck.

As you were.

Beer Thursday

Anybody fancy a few beers thursday night?

Whats going on here?

THIS WAS A PICTURE FROM THE CRICKET, UPON 1ST INSPECTION I DIDNT SEE MUCH OF IT, WELL APART FROM US BEING PISSED, HOWEVER WHEN I GOT THEM DEVELOPED, I WAS SHOCKED!!!
WHAT THE HELLS RICK DOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Roundabout of Hell

Seen as though we are having a few vids on watch this its great. To answer the first question that popped into my head, no chav's were seriously hurt in the making of this film. Apparently someone rang the hospital and checked and there wern't any admissions to Crawley hospital that day with any injures that might have resulted in such an accident

You might have seen it before but seeing chav's get hurt always amuses

JAGSHEMASH!!!

I CANT WAIT FOR THIS TO COME OUT!!!

Old women fighting

Seen as steve wanted more, here you go, old lady turns into mike tyson.
Some guys edited it to Franz Ferdinad music...enjoy

ZIDANE HEAD-BUTT GAME

INSTRUCTION MOVE HIM UP AND DOWN WITH MOUSE LEFT CLICK TO HEADBUTT...ENJOY

DANCE MACHINE LEGEND!!!

REMEMBER THE DANCE MACHINE AT BOWLING, WE THOUGHT WE WERE GOOD, LOOK AT THIS GUY GO!!!!
HES AN EXPERT, WELL HE IS UNTIL THE END WHEN HE COCKS UP!

Quick Question!

Does anybody fancy going to Rotherham to watch scunny (draw proberbly) on saturday the 19th. I've not seen a game as yet and I'm getting bored. Only about a £10 for a day return and takes just over an hour by train. Just wondering if anybody fancied a good old fastioned away day, couple of beers on the train and that?
All so what about the bank holiday at the end of the month (26th-28th) thought I'd ask now as it takes us two weeks to organise a game of bowling!

Cheers fellas.

3,2,1 wooden benches!

For Your Info, I'm Incumudacarna!

It's taken 18 months but they've finally caught up with me and making me work this weekend (I would of let you know by text but my phones at Jacks). So don't expect to see me out or at the footy cos I'm at work.
Just thought I'd let you know, rather than you lot trying to ring me and me not answering, then you thinking I'm ignoring you, then being shuned like a social leapper that I am, then having to kill my self because I've become so depressed by your rejections.
Anyway see you all on my four days off on the 17th

Karate monkey

For some gay reason I can't get the video to show, so you'll just have to click on the link -
http://www.videoclipstream.com/akamai/h-l/karatechimp/karatechimp.html

And something about gingervitis
http://www.gingerkids.org/faq.html

Burley's big Day Out

Look at me!

The first ones me in the Dug out obviously shouting at a player who's done something wrong and the second is me in the away end goal mouth.

Have you lot ever done that? didn't think so not real fans like me

TURKEY GOES ERM...GANGSTA???

ANSWERS ON A POSTCARD

Another vid from Jack

(im really goging to have to teach him how to do it)

Some Vids from Cricket

Jacks asked me to put this on for him. From what I heard it sounded like a good day. Lots of beer and Steve and Ric engaged in a friend to friend punch up (almost). Quality

Fantasy League

Just created another Fantasy League on www.metro.co.uk if u want to join the "it used to be about the BOOZE...Scunthorpe league" just create a team then join a private league and enter the pin 3774

Cheers

Turks

sCUNThorpe!!!!

Something i found on the net from that "urban" dictionary, obviously some of it posted by people from Hull

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=scunthorpe

FANCY DRESS

Dunno what some people are doing for fancy dress, I know some of us are still up for it, but ive heard theres some bottlers!! tut tut tut

Well me n some others will probably go to a fancy dress shop friday or saturday, have a look n that.

Adios

www.mentalists-only.com

http://chaoswarriors-guild.blogspot.com/

Have a look at this blog. It's amazing!

Panic Over!

Gentlemen,

Transportation is booked. We are being picked up at 9:30 on Sunday morning from Bonds. Total price is £150. That equates to £18.75 each. You can pay me on Sunday... Cash only I'm afraid.

Thank you for your patience!

Saturday Night pics Part2

Saturday Night pics Part1

While Were on the Subject of Look-a-likes

Big Dave is the BFG (Thats Leanne in his hand)

The Boozers As Muppets/Puppets

Pic 1 - Is me apparently

pic2 - Jack, the hair and the mad eyes.

pic3 - Jack again "grumpy shit"

pic4 - Take your pick, It could be Burley on the left and Steve on the right.
Dave on the left and Turks on the right.

Anyway I'm sure you lot can find better pics/lookalikes. Get 'em on here. I'm sure there's loads more of Jack.

Its burley Mcgoo!!!!

Yes its burley, and hes counting all our tax money!!! balls......weres my bin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its burley Mcgoo!!!!

Burl's Squinty Eyes

Seen as though it seems to have taken ages for anyone to start taking the piss out of my peepers (I've been waiting since this blog started for it and its taken you bloody ages), And Jack as usual didn't come up with the insult but has jumped on the band wagon (at least its better than his angry angry young man swearing , ahhh telling people to fuck off the last resort of the truly ignorant), here's my first look a like. 3rd Rock From the Sun had its good moments and although I'm not in touch with aliens (or at least not when I'm on my medication) I think the eyes say it all

For your viewing pleasure

Daves bright idea!

Anyone fancy ten pin bowling this Saturday. meet at 6pm then into town somewhere!

Good ol' fasioned piss up!

p.s Daves idea. (but he won't book it).

Some useful chinese phrases

In preperation for my holiday this year, I went out and bought a mandarin phrase book today. It brought back memories of looking for dirty words in the dictionary at school, except better as they put it in a sentance for you.

Here are a few useful ones (i've had to type them phonetically, due to my complete lack of knowledge of how to type in chinese).

nee jir shir yoong wor lai fa ching-yew - you're just using me for sex

mor wor jer - touch me here

jern shir - oh yeah!

mun-dyen lai - easy tiger

kwai-dyar - faster

goon kai - piss off!

chee-fay ler - i'm high

wor shi goong-chun-dung dung-ywen - i'm a member of the communist party

wor yo la-see - i have diarrhoea

and my personal favourite
nee-der ywair-jing hai-lai ma - are you menstruating?

Tom's Shock after Conversation in Bluebell...

One friday a couple of weeks ago Myself(Turkey) Jack, Burls and Tom were in Bluebell having a few beer when for some unknown reason we got onto the topic of SHRIMP FARMING!!!
"Shrimp Farming????" i hear you ask...Yes Shrimp Farming...Well Tom was having none of it....."Shrimp Farming does'nt exsist" He said...But fortunatley Burls had his phone with him with the trusty internet connection(which i might add had helped us compete in numerous quiz's including the Famous Victory in The Royal)....Well onto google he went and within seconds after typing SHRIMP FARMING in the search box, up popped a list of Shrimp farms and details of how Shrimps were farmed.

Moral of the Story......Never question Burls Mobile Internet

Burls Getting into Footbal??!!

Whats the world coming too??

Anyway someone had a rather good idea about booking a directors box for a scunny united game. Bloody good idea, I cant remember who it was but well done whoever.

Im spending a bit of time down at the ground over the next month so I should be able to sort something out.

What does everyone think? I know Jack might not be too impressesd with him being a donny fan but it will be a good piss up anyway

Burls

Another Jack-u-like

Although Jack looks nothing like Ben Stiller he's alot like the character in the film Mystery Men

The name of that character Mr Furious

The video's a bit long but the bit where Mr furious try's to prise the car badge of with his hands is class

Steve has a little sleep

In fact think he'd just woken up at this point. Video to follow soon!

Who killed Turkeys Girlfrieng???

Not his real girl friend of course! That would be terrible! No I'm talking about the blow up doll (That he got rather amerous with on the coach back from york.
Where this 'Michelle' came from is anybodys guess but at one point he was wearing her on his head while Dave tried to inflate her using her 'love tunnel' as a valve! (I have picture eveidence of this)
After this '3 some' some how (don't ask me how) but her head had come off! and she was dead! This however didn't stop are two randy lovers, as her now headless body was thrown around, passed back and forth beetween the two! At one point her feet were mutliated by Shorty while Dave STILL atempted to reinflate the decapitated corpse!
To top it all off when leaving schnapps I spoted the late 'Michelle' dumped in a bush, not a very dignified end to her all to short life!
All in all a good nights drinking!

Star Wars Kid

Watch the first one



and then if you dare watch this one. Its the original. The first one makes him look ok and this one makes him look like the sad loner he is. Imagine seeing all your movies like this. Bet the matrix would look bloody different!!!!!

Fantasy Football

Have a look and see what you all think, let us know if you want to join it and ill set up a league for us all




http://www.premierleague.com/fapl.rac?command=setSelectedId&nextPage=enNewsLatest&id=1310658&type=com.fapl.website.news.NewsItem&categoryCode=News

Fantasy Football World Cup

I came fourth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I dont know anything about football!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha

ha ha

ha

Bow down before my supeior football knowledge Dave, Steve, Tom, Rich, phil and Shorty and all the othert people who I have no idea who they were

Qudos to turk's Dad for coming first. Turkey nearly had him at the end but was just pipped to the post

Im looking forward to a premiership one

Adios

Burls

Jack and dicko's Hol

Have a good holiday

Cricket

Ive just got the tickets for cricket (England vs Pakistan 06/08/06 Headingley) any ideas of how we getting there? had a look at trains and theres 1 that gets in about half 11 meaning we would miss the start by at least an hour, or setting off the night before and getting there about half 9 the next morning.
There is however a trian from doncaster at 9.12 getting to leeds 9.58 then just a taxi to the ground. obviously we would have to get a lift to donny. what do you all think???

Feeling Hot,Hot,Hot

The weather is going to be good this weekend, I was just wondering if anybody has anything planned on Saturday (apart from the footy) and Sunday ? Let us Know would ya.

Cheers Fellas.

brazil

Are you Dunga or Pele???

I'm called Brisco. Which sounds like a 1950's cleaning product!

German Jokes

These just made me laugh so much the warrent officer has just told me off!

JOKES FROM GERMANY

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in
hospital.

A man walks into a pub.
He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.

Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?
She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly
low self-esteem.

What do you call a cat with no tail?
A Manx cat.

Why do undertakers wear ties?
Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their
appearance has a degree of gravitas.

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
One.

Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

Two men are sitting in a pub.
One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men
coming in and out of your wife's house.'
The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her
drug habit.'

Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out
and runs away.
One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.

Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell
pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest.

Work Damn You

Whats wrong with this thing! I'm trying to post a picture but it won't let me! If that 'Crule' has used his powers, as an undead warlocke and some how banished me from picture posting I'l get 'War Bastard' and 'Sex Hitler' to wallop him on the head with there yo-yo's!!!

By the way the England games on Saturday, Everyone happy going to Rileys as per usual?????

Possible Party?

As the weather is going to be shit i think a bbq is out

Thefore how about poker on Sat night?

Let me know

Burls

STAND UP FOR TURKEY SHOOTING

Dont worry im not calling on you all to kill turkeys, but its regarding the video i put on you tube, of turkey getting shot with an air rifle.

Finally someone has left a comment, that comment...."shit" i checked the profile and his own videos, hes a fucking tree hugging, tax dodging, low life student hippy! and i replied letting him no this! so for the sake of turkey, or at least people who hate hippys, sign up and reply back!
Dont let the hippys win!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9WlTBsGjb8

Have a good holiday!

Big dave and turkey venture off to bulgaria for there holidays today.
Have fun and dont drink too much....cough cough

An angry young man

For months ive been called an angry young man by burls, hate to admit it he may be right. This video proves it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5eiAa3VAsM&mode=related&search=postman

Last weekend

Heres some pics from last weekend, turkey turned into the hulk and destroyed every glass that didnt have J20 in it...not once, but twice!
And bigdave asked for something vegetarian at McDonalds, well he got it!

Cricket idea

Think someone mentioned this as a theme for fancy dress when we go to cricket.
70s Cops, pimps night fever, big cradigans, big hair(im sorted) these are a few pics i found

What is Love?

Things You Wish You Could Say At Work

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.
2. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
3. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word.
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. Ahh, I see the fuck up fairy has visited again.
6. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
7. I'm already visualising the duct tape over your mouth.
8. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
9. Someday we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
11. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
12. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
13. I like you. You remind me of me when I was young and stupid.
14. What am I? Flypaper for geeks?
15. I'm not being rude. You're just insignifigant.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. It's a thankless job, but I've got Karma to burn off.
18. No, my powers can be used only for good.
19. I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me.
20. Who me? I just wander from room to room.
21. How about "never"? Is "never" good for you?
22. Yes I am an agent of Satan but my role is mainly cerimonial

Line to make you smile

LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE>>>>
1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.>>
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.>>
3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!>>
4 Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.>>
5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.>>
6. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.>>
7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me>>
8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.>>
9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.>>
10. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.>>
11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.>>
13. God must love stupid people; He made so many.>>
15. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.>>
16. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?>>
17. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!>>
18. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I grew up.>>
21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.>>
23. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!>>
24. They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.>>
25. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.>>
26. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.>>
27. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.>>
29. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.>>
30. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.>

Another Milestone Acheived

Well Done people....This is the 250th post on this website.Quite an acheivement i think

It used to be about the booze email

Im looking into getting our own email address

it would look like this yourname@?????.com/org/co.uk

what I want suggestions on is what you lot ould want

so the ???? could be thebooze/aboutthebooze/itusedtobeaboutthebooze etc etc

my personal choice yourname@thebooze.com has already been taken. yourname@thebooze.org is available though.

It comes with alot a really great stuff. 20 gigs of space. sms messages and lots of other stuff.

I'll pay for it so all you skint flints don't have to worry

Suggestions on what you'd like please

cheers burls

Baden-Baden Bing

Not long to go now fellas! Is everyone going to Rileys for 12:30 ?

TURKEYS FAMOUS!!!!!!

Look what i found on the net...turkeys famous!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9WlTBsGjb8

WHICH SUPERHERO ARE YOU?

Click the link and take the test, see what superhero you are.
Im the Flash
Fast, athletic and flirtatious.




http://www.seabreezecomputers.com/superhero/

Congratulations

Tom has passed his driving test! Hurrarh!!!
I for one am very pleased for him but even more pleased about the fact that he owes me 10 years of lifts

well done mate