Heres a review from the internet about Jacks T.V gameshow apperance.
Local Scunthorpe man Jack Haughheyhaw made a t.v apperance on Sky Three show "you can't handle the truth and we don't want to know it anyway". We thought it was i cross between Judge Judy and A Few Good Men. It wasn't. Jack accompanyied by long term 'partner' Grahame Turkleton Dixoningdon and members of his extended family put on a good show which can only be described as 'not mastermind' but he walked away with 1,000,000,000,000 Zimbabwean Dollers.
Robert Mugabe, a resident of Fox Street said " I don't fucking belive it, first I loose the election, I'm still convinsed I won though and I'm not going anywhere, now this guy wins all our money". Mr Haughheyhaw, who currently works as a bin man in the town centre, has already blown most of his winnings on trips to Maplethorpe and Cleethorpes, said "All I did was not lie and they gave me a sack full of cash. The next thing I know some African fellas on the phone saying I lost him the election! crazy! but Cleggy was amazing, I had two donkey rides and a hair cut."
It's not clear if this is the start of some kind of T.V career for Mr Haughheyhaw but Miss Sue Pollard of Henderson Avenue said "He'd never cut it on Hi-Di-Hi. I thought he sucked balls". Although contrastingly Mr Auther Cheesetoes of Westcliff said "I loved it! But I did wonder why that girl with the long hair was called Jack".
But some Scunthonnians were up in arms after Mr Haughheyhaw claimed all Scunthorpe girls had three breasts, He invented the rollerskate and the somewhat more unbelievable that he is the reincarnation of 'Morlock the Lizard Queen'. Mr Haughheyhaw ,or Morlock to his friend, is said to be in hiding. A spokesman said "we have no idea who your talking about!"
Jerry Springer was unavaliable for comment but a press release said "As long as Mr Springer gets paid he doesn't really mind what kind of freeks get on the show". Good work Mr Springer our lives are much better.
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9 comments:
Im pretty sure that this is the funnest thing I've ever read
how much did he win then?
That, my friend, is pure genius Richard. More like that please.
He won £10,000 pounds stirling!!!!
And has he bought(or brought if you talk like Jack) anyone a drink?
Has he bollocks.
He did pretty well to be fair.
Repeated on Sunday night Sky 3 11pm.
Laugh along at Turks being exposed!(not exposing himself though)
i have no skeletons in my cubboard
yes you do...but you do have to tune in to see Turkeys pink lipstick
all im saying is the Make-up artist was fit and she took a shine 2 me
So tried to give you a make-over and turn you into Julian Clary
To be honest Turks had 1 make up artist to do the work for 4 people. Me on the other hand,had the same make up artist who gave me more touch ups then a car parked next to Toms driveway!
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