COME ON ENGLAND

Been doing a spot of gardening, got no grass so this is the best I could do! Cmon England!!!!

Football

Anyone fancy a game this weekend?

About the Booze Anniversary: Update

After talking to a few of you it would seem, using the democratic system, that the monopoly idea was gay. After taking into accounts Steve's biting (but non the less true) comment about our age, and talking to a few others it would seem that were quite capable of getting pissed in the big smoke without resorting to gimmics.

So with that in mind it will just be a massive piss up

I did some research with advice from our London mogul, Rich

There are two budget(?) hotels right near kings cross. These are

Premier Travel Inn, Kings Cross St Pancreas- £75 (£37.50 each)
Travel Lodge, Kings Cross- £70 (£35 each)

For those of you that don't get to go on jollys accross the country on the tax payers bill, the usual set up is two to a room (could be more in a family room but two would still have to share a bed). Usually its a twin room for two people and you just have to indicate that when you book. So buddy up guys

For something a bit more special try

Marriott, Regents Park- £118.01 (£59.00)

For trains try

GNER- Should be around £14 but they don't book over three months in advance

Anyways let me know if your interested

Cheers

Burls

42 football teams can you name them?

Anyone for tennis?

http://www.mcsaatchi.webcentral.com.au/tennischallenge/optus_tennis_site_edited.html

just trying something out

Another website for Jack

http://www.apa.org/topics/controlanger.html

Hopefully it should help him put at least one constructive comment on here!!!

POKER

After my recent experience in the city that never sleeps I am fully confident of victory in tonights poker game so bring your money a prepare for a good old fashion fleeceing.
see you there losers

WORLD CUP FANTASY LEAGUE

Ive just created a Fantasy league for the World Cup...all you need to do is go to http://fantasyfootball.metro.co.uk and Register yourself then create a team. After that click join league then in the Private League Box type the code 46262-8444 to join ABOUT THE BOOOOOOZE fantasy world cup league

some of you will already have an email with the code...apoligies to the others who havent as i have not got ur emails

Spread the word and lets have a good Fantasy League for the World Cup

cheers

over and out

Turks

SHODY

So it comes to the last European game of the season and the turn out was exremely poor! The hard core turned out, once again, but the 'stay away' boozers was all too common. All you fans of 'big' clubs should be ashamed of yourselves. the role of honor now reads
Italy-10
England-10
Spain-11
suppose you Liverpool, Man Utd, Aston Villa, Notts Forest, fans are happy that Aresnal lost.I for one look at you in discussed

once more in to the breach my friend, for the Queen, England and St george!
Words that I fear are lost on you!
Well good look supporting the Spanish,Brazillian or dare I say it the Germany teams in the world cup.

Now feel free to tell me how you supported your chosen club through thick and thin, although it's nearly always been thick, (two games a season doesn't count).

Put the FLAG up outside your house if it makes you feel better but be asured it's people like you that signal the death of English football!!!!!!!!!!


Up the Iron!

p.s
I'm waiting for your anti local club statement, Jack, 'I support Donny Man Utd Rovers'.

Fuck off!

Just found Jacks Dictionary

Click the link and read throughly so next time you have a conversation with Jack you'll sort of understand what he is trying to say................

http://www.doncasterwestpct.nhs.uk/uploads/reports/GlossaryforInternationalRecruits.pdf

Monopoly Info- or how to get really really pissed

Found this web site and it seems to be the best one for info on the monopoly pub crawl

http://www.monopolypubcrawl.org.uk/route.jsp;jsessionid=KMABIEFDLPPE?route=inorder.xml

If everyone wants to have a look and see what they think. 26 pubs in all so halfs only gentlemen

In accordence with the prophecy

Mekon

London Calling

Instead of going paragliding or some other lunatic idea lets focus on what anerversary we're celibrating. BOOZE. So I propose we all head down south and do the 'monopoly board pub crawl'. I know Jacks already on board with the idea. I've looked into costing for hotels, £66 per night at any of the travel lodges, for a double room.

If you book early enough the Train will only be £14 each way.

Lets get it sorted out Burls!

p.s

Champleaguege final tonight in the Queensway, in there for seven.

FINALLY

At last I collected my winnigs from Turkey, well worth the wait!

has u can see he wasnt happy about it!

Liverpool Fans of the Blog please explain the following pic's

Shorty, Dave and any other Liverpool Fans connected to this website could u explain these pictures? 1 fan brought this picture of Rafa Benitez into the pub then another fan put this banner up.

Explain please if possible (especially the Banner)

cheers

Cup Final Pic's

Just some pic's from the FA Cup Final and a Picture of a very drunk Alan Hansen with my Mum in Cardiff Bay on saturday night, Kenny Dalglish and his v.pretty daughter was also with Mr Hansen but was camera shy...also before the game Danny Dyer a film actor(such films as; mean machine,the business and Football Factory to name afew)was seen walking down Cardiff high street with a can of fosters in his hand(just like a scene from the film Football Factory)

It Used to be About the Booze

By the way I think yesterday was tit monday. You should have seen it down town. class

Anniversary

I spend much of the 8 hours im supposed to be working thinking.Mainly I'm hatching evil plans concerning world domination and how best to kill the guy from the Picture Loans adverts (1) why didn't he know he wanted to borrow 25,000 pounds, I mean its a lot of money 2) why the hell is she filming him? 3) he doesn't leave his name address or bank details 4) why would he want to pay back 43,000 on a 25,000 loan, its a rip off. This list could go on but its making me angry).

My plans to build a time machine/invisibility machine/doomsday device have all failed in general as I only have access to paperclips and custard creams.

The above is really just a long way round of saying that I've just had an idea.It used to be about the booze will be one year old on September the 11th. We should celebrate the momentous occasion by doing something different. A night down in London perhaps or something else. Anyways im sure you'll think of something. Was thinking the 9th or 8th of September. It should be all 11 of us as well and if rob and Steve ask permission early enough they might be allowed out to play. Get James from where ever it is he lives. Think it must be the Bermuda Triangle the amount of times we see him

Thought If I mentioned something in advance we could get it sorted out early as I know what we're all like

Anyways let me know what you think

"Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most" Ozzy Osborne

Fare ye well

Burls

Pimp Names

Found this little web site that gives you your pimp names

Jim: His Majesty Dogg
Jack: Uncle Slick
Dave: Maestro Pump
Rob: Mc Glider
Steve: Big Playah Dynamite
Rich: Maestro Mystery
Tom: Pimp Daddy Dogg
Shorts: White Chocolate Tease
Turkey: Unlce Shagswell
James: Stud Luv
Andy: Backdoor Kisses (Honestly!!!)

http://www.blogthings.com/pimpnamegenerator/

there's a few other things on there as well

hugs and kisses

burls

FA CUP FINAL

Next saturday is another English tradition...the FA Cup Final.
No matter who you support its an excuse to watch football, have a bet and get legless!
So whats the plan next saturday? 2pm in Rileys and then carry on into the small hours?
Venture into town and end up in Brit were burley gets mardy and runs home?

Any ideas etc welcome
Over and out!

Is That With 'J' or a 'G'

Another Saturday night spent talking bolloks in one of Scunthorpe's 'finest' free houses. For those 'Boozers' who didn't make it down the pub you missed a real treat!

After a recent discusstion in the pub, About how much people get paid for starring in crappy adverts,Burley was fielding questions as to why his actress sister did not also get on the commercial bandwagon and take the advertisers dirty dollar. He could not answer this question and even said himself that 'Joey Jipleranie' starred in an ad for tomato sauce and, I quote 'He's done alright for himself'. After falling about laughing at this statement for several minutes we worked out who the legendary actor, that Burly was referring to, actually was! If you have any guesses or just want to take the piss out of Burly, We'd more than welcolme them in the comments!

P.S
Burly also said that he had to run home from my house with his finger up his bottom because he needed a poo so badly he had to 'plug' the hole!

Amazing what you can learn about your mates over 5 pints. Anymore embarrassing childhood memories should be immediately posted on here
YOUR BLOG NEEDS YOU!

Arrribaaaaa...........Adios Amigos

I'nt Milk Brilliant!!!!!!!!

Another member of the dingle family!

England Vs Germans (The Legands)

Did anyone watch the Legands match on channel 5 the other night?if not watch this web link and you'll see Boris Johnson MP head butting a German whilst going for the ball.
Quality clip of what most English people would love to see........a German in pain!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWIUp19bBoA

Weekend

Dear all,

Has anybody got any plans for this weekend? As I'am coming home again this weekend but can't be bothered to text any of you, I thought I'd put a pointless post on here. Feel free to put down the usual ie Booze, booze etc, etc. God work is crap today. 27 degrees down here to day and I'm stuck in a crewroom with no air conditioning. Boo

Bowling and Poker Weekend

A few photo's from last weekend. Its mainly showing rics double wammy of his poker win and bowling (he'd just got a strike), unfortunatly he couldn't get the tripple as jack beat him on the dance machine!

Poker Update

So the last game of poker

Jack won 3 in a row! Back on form jack outdid us all. It was a good return to form from jack and with a record breaking 4 games he's put himself truly in the lead with 6. That's a two point lead now gentlemen for jack

All in all it was a strange 4 games. No flushes and I think only one or two straight all though the last two games are a bit of a blur for me so if anyone knows any dif please comment

The second bit of news. Rich won one! And well deserved it was. Didn't think I would ever say this but rich produce some intelligent, consistent play. In the end I think it was only the fog of the booze that stopped him from winning more. Be good to see how he progresses with his new found confidence

As for me I totally didn't do well at all. Out first on two games. Fair enough I didn't get the cards but a more intelligent style of play was defiantly needed. Jack out played me on several hands and really reduced my stack on all occasions

Andy "300 is the magic number" peacock did a real good bully tactic which putt us all on the back foot. Prop deserved to win at least one but couldn't seem to finnish

Dave played better than I've seen him ever play before, with more practice I think he'll give us all a scare

Any way I think 4 games is too much, 3 at the most I think is best

So I've got a two point lead to catch up on

Look forward to the next time
Kudos to Jack

Over and out
Burls

DEFINE US..URBAN STYLE!!!

Further to Burls google search, i did my own, but used the Urban dictionary website, so here are the results.

MUNGO
a guy who is total loser with no friends

"dat guy is listenin 2 his ringtones. what a mungo"

BURLS

short terms for burly: muscle-y,
"Damn. Tim is so burls"

SHORTY

affectionate term for a girlfriend, attractive female or concubine.
"Yo shorty, it's your birthday"

RICK

Northern Jersey term for crack cocaine.
"Yo man what you need, diesel?Nah man, rick.How many you need? 7. I got you. Pull round the block."

TURKEY


(n) a loser; an uncoordinated, inept, clumsy foolORa tool; a person who is not in with current culture and slang or is just generally uncool.
These slang usages of the word "turkey" were mostly used during the late 60's and 70's by urban-dwelling blacks.


PEACOCK(nothing for andy)

thumbing a girls ass leaving your fingers facing up and spread as far ass they'll go....works best during doggy style
"That girl was diggin my cock already but she fuckin squirted like a waterfall when I peacocked her ass"


DAVID

A prep term used in Indianapolis. Similer to the word pot-head. Only used for males.
"I can't go to that party. My mom heard it was just going to be a bunch of davids toking up"

TOM

the man responsbile for the monstrosity known as "myspace", owner and operator of said site, and consequently the man blamed every time myspace is down.
"god damnit! myspace shit the bed again. fuck you tom!"


CLARK(nothing for steve so this is next best thing)

a sweet guy.a very confused, but a sweetheart and a guy no girl can resist, with one of the biggest heart ever. Hes very loving and never wants to hurt anyone.
"wow look at clark!"

JAMES
They didnt have anything, nor jamie or jim!



JACK

To steal, or take from an unsuspecting person or store.
"Yo nigga! Yo shit got jacked!"


http://www.urbandictionary.com/ this is the site

RED ALERT, RED ALERT

Short notice poker match at my house on Saturday night. No going in to town after just a couple of not so friendly games of cards.

The Last game was in Febuary so attendance is mandatory (well not really but those not coming please forward there apologies to myself and I will berate you accordingly)

Again sorry for the short notice and if you do fancy a few beers after, town is just a short walk up the road!

See you all Saturday! ( I will be texting you anyway, get those excuses ready).

Easy money

After a few beers me and Turkey decided to have a small wager.
Well after a few months the results are in...Doncaster Rovers finished higher then Scunthorpe!!!!
With 2 games to go Donny are 7 points clear of Scunthorpe
This bet, for £10 was one of my easier wins, the bet i had with burley about Bruce Forsythe presenting The price is right was harder!
So to quote Turkey as stated a few months back in this blog..."EASY MONEY"
Cough up!!!!

Rick and chums!

So a normal night at the light on friday

Rick has a go at being a DJ, meets the Scunthorpe strangler, and then bumps into TVs own Bobby Ball..."Rock on Tommy"!!!!

Dave wants to go bowling (Ten-pin I hope)

Interesting Idea from Dave alert!
After a conversation about what to do this weekend Dave came up with the novel idea of Ten Pin Bowling (Like Crown Green, I think, with little skittles at the end).
Anyway I thought it would be quite interesting to get down the ol' alley for a bit of a 'about the booze' tournament. Or at the very leased see what its like bowling pissed.

Any better ideas feel free to tell them to Dave, then call him an Idiot for coming up with such a bad idea!!!

All the best Adios Amigos

The Skills To Pay The Bills

Jack's pro debut didn't go to plan.http://images.thesun.co.uk/picture/0,,2006181365,00.gif

Define: Us Lot

I thought I would use Google’s define search to search all our names and see what the came up with, some are boring but I was especially pleased to see it gave us an opportunity to take the piss out of Jack. Please note that I’ve used the first one that came up in all instances

Mungo:
Fibrous woollen material generated from waste. Waste from more tightly woven cloth, oiled woven rags or milled cloth.

Burls:
A swirl or distortion in the grain of the wood often occur-ring near a knot but not containing a knot.

Jack:
A small worthless amount (about right!)

Dave:
The author of the PAUP/PAUP* computer program for reconstructing phylogenetic relationships (Dave will never be that clever!)

Shorty:
Dance Style: Candy hip-hop (Love to see Shorty bust a move Candy hip hop style!)

James:
A Stuart king of Scotland who married a daughter of Henry VII; when England and France went to war in 1513 he invaded England and died in defeat at Flodden (1473-1513) (Err?)

Rich:
Possessing material wealth (yeah right, try the opposite)

Tom:
Contemptuous name for a Black man who is abjectly servile and deferential to Whites (Thought it was just a tan from being in America!)

Andrew:
(New Testament) disciple of Jesus; brother of Peter; patron saint of Scotland (Saint Peacock)

Steve:
Principal of the Encounter English Schools in Porto, where Rowling worked during her time in Portugal in the early 1990s (possible influence of Harry potter?)

Turkey:
Large gallinaceous bird with fan-shaped tail; widely domesticated for food (pies, pies and more pies!)

crossbar challenge

http://tinyurl.com/lo4b6

MASSIVE ENGLAND SHIRT

I WANT THIS SHIRT LETS ALL CLUB TOGETHER AND GET IT FOR THE WORLD CUP AND CRICKET, OR GIVE TO SHORTY AS A PRESENT IT MIGHT JUST FIT HIM!!!





http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=8795090644

Burly's Football Team

So Burls this is your team.

Some More Pics

Bang Bang!!!
WWE wrestling action
What a smoothie!

OMAR FC

KICK BUTT!!! PROBABLY THE BEST GAME EVER!
SPOT THE BALL!!!
DAVE CHECKS THE WIND DIRECTION BEFOR TAKING HIS FREE KICK

SPEARMINT RHINO

NEW POLE DANCERS FOR SPEARMINT RHINO!

EASTER WEEKEND

rick n turkey in gay sex shocker(check out the pits)

group pic of us, turkey nibbling ricks ear??

and another group pic of us trading insults!

me bird

I will also show you some pics of me bird as i cannot get em on here

Return of the king

I will be back on Tuesday if anyone fancies a pint and to be regaled with some of my wonderful and slightly over exaggerated tales of tucson,las vegas,salt lake city,LA, and then tucson agian.
I was planning to go to the royal for a couple of real pints (not American piss water) and then get some fish and chips on the way home i know your having a big weekend but i need some English pub time the spam ones are alright but i am sick of being constantly asked to speak for there amusement see you boys in a few days .
if your up for it just text us it works out here and costs you f#&k all extra.

cheers the world traveler
tom

Spot the Giant Cock

FUNNIEST COMMENT OF THE DAY

WHEN ASKING TURKEY IF HE WAS TO PLAY FOOTBALL AT HIGHRIDGE FIELD ON SATURDAY....
Turk says:
i aint climbing over any fences 2 play and the gates been locked all year because it aint for public use

JUST MAKES ME LAUGH!!!

EASTER SATURDAY PUB CRAWL

JUST TO CONFIRM, WE WILL ALL BE MEETING IN THE ROYAL FROM 7 THIS SATURDAY AND MAKING ARE WAY THROUGH AS MANY PUBS AS POSSIBLE, BIG DAVE HAD AN IDEA OF 2 PINT LIMIT IN EVERY PUB...UNTIL WE PASS OUT LATE IN THE NIGHT IN SOME SOME DIVE!!!

OVER AND OUT!!!

England Expects Every Man To Do His Duty

www.penalty2006.com

Football and beer

Next saturday for football and beer then? 3pm High ridge field? Anybody got a ball?

Sunday, Footy, Sunday

Ah... Three games on Sunday. Sounds like the perfect excuse to spend all day in the pub.
First up the hooligan derby (12:00) Chelsea Vs West Ham United, Watch as the famous Shed end is turned into an up market Bistro by a bunch of Middle class tossers.
Next it's up to the car crime, scallys heaven of the north west where (14:00)Liver'boring'pool take on a prison team from bolton
Then it's over to the Nike Trafford Ballpark for (16:00)Manchester United PLC Vs The future European champions Arsenal.

Lets all go to the Queensway to hear Shortys football turrets, watch as Jack gets threatened to be 'Banged' by some blokes for wearing the wrong t-shirt and see Arsenal win at the Theater of 'largely foreign based' Dreams.

See you all in there Gringos! Adios Amigos

CHRIS SHORT THE 4TH EMERGENY SERVICE

Is shorty the newest member of the AA...is he moonlighting inbetween jobs? U decide!!!

THE GOOD OLD DAYS!

Here incase everyone forgot what a good old fashioned piss up was like, heres some pics to recap, and by the way ive fixed my camera so this easter..ITS ALL ABOUT THE BOOZE....(J20 free zone)

Boom Shankar

Forgot to mention it in the last post but all those going to the cricket we've (me and andy) decided that we should go in fancy dress.
No theme, no reason, no charity.... just for fun anything goes!. A beer to the best costume I say!!! Mexican bandi'dos .....Yee Haa adios amigos.

(yes burls you can go as Capt Picard)

A CALL TO ARMS

After tonights feble attempts at at what only be called a 'tea party'. Someone has to take charge of this piss up on the bank holiday weekend!
All those wishing to attend please add your name in the comments.
If your names not down your not coming in!
This could be the last time that all of the 'booze crew' are out at the same time.
However the actual day/night that the booze up is happening is still up for debate so aswell as your name, leave yor prefered date, i.e fri/sat.



p.s the poker night for that weekend is also to be decided. any IdeaS feel free to whack 'em' down


adios amigos!!! YEE HAAA!

Tit Monday!

Ah, Tit Monday. It's not that far off now, that glorious day when, heading into work on the bus, or walking to the Tube, or sitting on the train, you find yourself suddenly chirpier than you have been in months.You find yourself smiling at strangers again.

There is a mild involuntary tumescence in your trousers that comes and goes throughout the morning with the comforting regularity of a heartbeat.And then you get a text around lunchtime from a mate which says:

"At last, Tit Monday!"

And you instantly understand why you are so happy.For Tit Monday is that special day in the year when, for the first time, the temperature rises above that magical point which causes girls getting dressed in the morning to decide to show a bit of skin.After months of dull colours and chunky knit, the world's birds suddenly dive into last summer's wardrobe (they've not had chance to buy this season's stuff) and chuck it on without a thought. Your urban landscape is suddenly lightened with acres of naked arm and leg and, after many dark months of burrowing, breasts rising to the surface like moles at dusk.Big breasts in white work shirts straining at the buttons. Small breasts braless in vest tops, the nipples frotted by ribby fabrics. Breasts in summer dresses bouncing in the distance so that they catch your eye before you even notice there is someone wearing them. Breasts nudging out from the crowd at traffic islands, quivering to cross the road...And you know it is nearly summer. For previous generations, the arrival of spring was heralded by the sound of the first cuckoo. For us, it is Tit Monday.

Not that it always falls on a Monday. Like Easter, Tit Monday is a moveable feast. Last year it fell on a Friday. Friday 29 April, to be precise, when temperatures maxed out at 22.1C after nothing much above 16C all year. It last fell on a Monday in 2004, when temperatures leapt to 22C on 24 April.And then, of course, there is Tit Monday Night. You see, in early summer, temperatures drop off very dramatically when night falls (Tit Friday 2005 dropped away to a parky 11.8C). But the dollies are not prepared. Slightly stunned by the morning heat, they drag out the summer clothes but forget to bring a cardie (a mistake they will not make again until next year), so that when they're all standing outside All Bar One after work celebrating the arrival of spring, their barely covered nipples have no protection from the cold. It's like a Bring-and-Buy sale where everyone has brought hat pegs. It's like a prog-rock gig where, instead of lighters, everyone is holding up nipples.So when will Tit Monday fall this year?

Will you be the first to text your mates with the announcement?

Do not shoot your bolt too early.There will be false starts. You will smell fresh cut grass and see a couple of early starters and feel compelled to declare Tit Monday. But your more level-headed friends will tell you to hold your horses.

Piss up

When we having this piss up? still easter weekend insted of this weekend (1st April)?

And Another Quiz

Saw this on some film or somet, its along the same lines as the 5 dinner guests.
Basically name three women who you would
1...Shag
2...Marry
3...Kill

over and out

Another Quiz of Sorts

Basically just name the 5 people you would have to a dinner party (or out on the piss). Can be alive or dead, but must be real people

here's mine:

Ray Meers (he's really interesting and if you ran out of food and drink he would be able to sort you out no problem with some sort of elaborate trap)
Partick Stewart (star trek of course)
David Gemmell (my favioute author)
Doc holiday (gun fight at the o.k. corale)
Uther Pendragon (possibly the person who the Camelot stories are based on)

just post who's yours are on the comments

A Good Quiz

Here's something ric sent me prob sent it to some of you as well but for the others put the picture below. You need to name all the bands or artists (cant remember how many it was so ric help me out). Your best putting it into photo editor and then you can zoom in. Ill put what I think I've got in the comments

Great Booze Up!

All this talk of a good old booze up has got me thinking. Instead of Saturday the 1st of April, Why not make it over the Easter Bank Holiday?(14th-17th) We can make it a whole weekend then! (well the ones that can handle it anyway).Those of us that are 'married' should be able to make it on at leased one of those days!(I'm looking at you Clarky & Smarty).You never know they might just bring the're 'wifes' along for the ride (If they excist which, I seriously doubt)
Anyway leave your ideas/replys/complaints/rants/raves/problems/wishes/ hopes and dreams in the comments and Jack can slag off any of them (or anybody) he does not like.

Sponge-Jack ginger pants it's over to you!

adios amigos YE HA!

The Birth of a Legend

As you know im a geek

In my quest to understand the paranormal I decided to delve into the legend of Big foot

You may have seen this photo before, it was shot by a couple of guys in America

Often dismissed as a fake I decided to look deeper into the photo

Using state of the art digital enhancement technology I managed to zoom in on the creature itself

The results were disturbing

Look at the face

MUNGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!