SPEARMINT RHINO

NEW POLE DANCERS FOR SPEARMINT RHINO!

EASTER WEEKEND

rick n turkey in gay sex shocker(check out the pits)

group pic of us, turkey nibbling ricks ear??

and another group pic of us trading insults!

me bird

I will also show you some pics of me bird as i cannot get em on here

Return of the king

I will be back on Tuesday if anyone fancies a pint and to be regaled with some of my wonderful and slightly over exaggerated tales of tucson,las vegas,salt lake city,LA, and then tucson agian.
I was planning to go to the royal for a couple of real pints (not American piss water) and then get some fish and chips on the way home i know your having a big weekend but i need some English pub time the spam ones are alright but i am sick of being constantly asked to speak for there amusement see you boys in a few days .
if your up for it just text us it works out here and costs you f#&k all extra.

cheers the world traveler
tom

Spot the Giant Cock

FUNNIEST COMMENT OF THE DAY

WHEN ASKING TURKEY IF HE WAS TO PLAY FOOTBALL AT HIGHRIDGE FIELD ON SATURDAY....
Turk says:
i aint climbing over any fences 2 play and the gates been locked all year because it aint for public use

JUST MAKES ME LAUGH!!!

EASTER SATURDAY PUB CRAWL

JUST TO CONFIRM, WE WILL ALL BE MEETING IN THE ROYAL FROM 7 THIS SATURDAY AND MAKING ARE WAY THROUGH AS MANY PUBS AS POSSIBLE, BIG DAVE HAD AN IDEA OF 2 PINT LIMIT IN EVERY PUB...UNTIL WE PASS OUT LATE IN THE NIGHT IN SOME SOME DIVE!!!

OVER AND OUT!!!

England Expects Every Man To Do His Duty

www.penalty2006.com

Football and beer

Next saturday for football and beer then? 3pm High ridge field? Anybody got a ball?

Sunday, Footy, Sunday

Ah... Three games on Sunday. Sounds like the perfect excuse to spend all day in the pub.
First up the hooligan derby (12:00) Chelsea Vs West Ham United, Watch as the famous Shed end is turned into an up market Bistro by a bunch of Middle class tossers.
Next it's up to the car crime, scallys heaven of the north west where (14:00)Liver'boring'pool take on a prison team from bolton
Then it's over to the Nike Trafford Ballpark for (16:00)Manchester United PLC Vs The future European champions Arsenal.

Lets all go to the Queensway to hear Shortys football turrets, watch as Jack gets threatened to be 'Banged' by some blokes for wearing the wrong t-shirt and see Arsenal win at the Theater of 'largely foreign based' Dreams.

See you all in there Gringos! Adios Amigos

CHRIS SHORT THE 4TH EMERGENY SERVICE

Is shorty the newest member of the AA...is he moonlighting inbetween jobs? U decide!!!

THE GOOD OLD DAYS!

Here incase everyone forgot what a good old fashioned piss up was like, heres some pics to recap, and by the way ive fixed my camera so this easter..ITS ALL ABOUT THE BOOZE....(J20 free zone)

Boom Shankar

Forgot to mention it in the last post but all those going to the cricket we've (me and andy) decided that we should go in fancy dress.
No theme, no reason, no charity.... just for fun anything goes!. A beer to the best costume I say!!! Mexican bandi'dos .....Yee Haa adios amigos.

(yes burls you can go as Capt Picard)

A CALL TO ARMS

After tonights feble attempts at at what only be called a 'tea party'. Someone has to take charge of this piss up on the bank holiday weekend!
All those wishing to attend please add your name in the comments.
If your names not down your not coming in!
This could be the last time that all of the 'booze crew' are out at the same time.
However the actual day/night that the booze up is happening is still up for debate so aswell as your name, leave yor prefered date, i.e fri/sat.



p.s the poker night for that weekend is also to be decided. any IdeaS feel free to whack 'em' down


adios amigos!!! YEE HAAA!

Tit Monday!

Ah, Tit Monday. It's not that far off now, that glorious day when, heading into work on the bus, or walking to the Tube, or sitting on the train, you find yourself suddenly chirpier than you have been in months.You find yourself smiling at strangers again.

There is a mild involuntary tumescence in your trousers that comes and goes throughout the morning with the comforting regularity of a heartbeat.And then you get a text around lunchtime from a mate which says:

"At last, Tit Monday!"

And you instantly understand why you are so happy.For Tit Monday is that special day in the year when, for the first time, the temperature rises above that magical point which causes girls getting dressed in the morning to decide to show a bit of skin.After months of dull colours and chunky knit, the world's birds suddenly dive into last summer's wardrobe (they've not had chance to buy this season's stuff) and chuck it on without a thought. Your urban landscape is suddenly lightened with acres of naked arm and leg and, after many dark months of burrowing, breasts rising to the surface like moles at dusk.Big breasts in white work shirts straining at the buttons. Small breasts braless in vest tops, the nipples frotted by ribby fabrics. Breasts in summer dresses bouncing in the distance so that they catch your eye before you even notice there is someone wearing them. Breasts nudging out from the crowd at traffic islands, quivering to cross the road...And you know it is nearly summer. For previous generations, the arrival of spring was heralded by the sound of the first cuckoo. For us, it is Tit Monday.

Not that it always falls on a Monday. Like Easter, Tit Monday is a moveable feast. Last year it fell on a Friday. Friday 29 April, to be precise, when temperatures maxed out at 22.1C after nothing much above 16C all year. It last fell on a Monday in 2004, when temperatures leapt to 22C on 24 April.And then, of course, there is Tit Monday Night. You see, in early summer, temperatures drop off very dramatically when night falls (Tit Friday 2005 dropped away to a parky 11.8C). But the dollies are not prepared. Slightly stunned by the morning heat, they drag out the summer clothes but forget to bring a cardie (a mistake they will not make again until next year), so that when they're all standing outside All Bar One after work celebrating the arrival of spring, their barely covered nipples have no protection from the cold. It's like a Bring-and-Buy sale where everyone has brought hat pegs. It's like a prog-rock gig where, instead of lighters, everyone is holding up nipples.So when will Tit Monday fall this year?

Will you be the first to text your mates with the announcement?

Do not shoot your bolt too early.There will be false starts. You will smell fresh cut grass and see a couple of early starters and feel compelled to declare Tit Monday. But your more level-headed friends will tell you to hold your horses.

Piss up

When we having this piss up? still easter weekend insted of this weekend (1st April)?

And Another Quiz

Saw this on some film or somet, its along the same lines as the 5 dinner guests.
Basically name three women who you would
1...Shag
2...Marry
3...Kill

over and out

Another Quiz of Sorts

Basically just name the 5 people you would have to a dinner party (or out on the piss). Can be alive or dead, but must be real people

here's mine:

Ray Meers (he's really interesting and if you ran out of food and drink he would be able to sort you out no problem with some sort of elaborate trap)
Partick Stewart (star trek of course)
David Gemmell (my favioute author)
Doc holiday (gun fight at the o.k. corale)
Uther Pendragon (possibly the person who the Camelot stories are based on)

just post who's yours are on the comments

A Good Quiz

Here's something ric sent me prob sent it to some of you as well but for the others put the picture below. You need to name all the bands or artists (cant remember how many it was so ric help me out). Your best putting it into photo editor and then you can zoom in. Ill put what I think I've got in the comments

Great Booze Up!

All this talk of a good old booze up has got me thinking. Instead of Saturday the 1st of April, Why not make it over the Easter Bank Holiday?(14th-17th) We can make it a whole weekend then! (well the ones that can handle it anyway).Those of us that are 'married' should be able to make it on at leased one of those days!(I'm looking at you Clarky & Smarty).You never know they might just bring the're 'wifes' along for the ride (If they excist which, I seriously doubt)
Anyway leave your ideas/replys/complaints/rants/raves/problems/wishes/ hopes and dreams in the comments and Jack can slag off any of them (or anybody) he does not like.

Sponge-Jack ginger pants it's over to you!

adios amigos YE HA!

The Birth of a Legend

As you know im a geek

In my quest to understand the paranormal I decided to delve into the legend of Big foot

You may have seen this photo before, it was shot by a couple of guys in America

Often dismissed as a fake I decided to look deeper into the photo

Using state of the art digital enhancement technology I managed to zoom in on the creature itself

The results were disturbing

Look at the face

MUNGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sponge-Jack-Square Pants

When Burls told Jack it was his round and Jack refused Burls had to resort to the 1 thing Jack hates..........A SPONGE

Put it this way Burls got his drink.

So next time Jack refuse's to get the drinks in....Dont forget the trusty Sponge, not only a helping hand when having a wash(apart from Jack) but also helps getting a drink off him

BREAKING NEWS:- Picture (18th March 2006) Schnaps

On the recent post on this website i think i have found the main reason why people started to vanish from Schnaps on Saturday 18th March 2006.

This picture was taken approx 15mins before the walk-out
(please note, no computer enhancement has been used on this picture)

So could this picture hold the key reason for the mass walk out?

Who no's, you Decide

The Amazing disappearing Act of Nearly Everyone

Where did everyone go on Sat? Your all light weights (well, apart from Susan and Turks) I was still going strong (although feeling a little sick) at half 3 with some lasses that would put you lads to shame when it comes to drinking! going home at 12, should be illegal

Anyways the reason im writhing this post is cus I thought there were some photos. I especially want to see the one of me in Kirstys coat as I think I looked quite dashing

P.S. I went to Henry's (and it is still Henrys not Time) for the first time in a year and then remembered quite quickly why i hadn't been for a year. I must admit that its a lot quieter than it used to be so easy to get a drink, but it also means your more likely to bump into someone you don't like and you feel more like a loner when your waiting for someone to get off the dance floor. To dispel a myth it was only £6 to get in but that could have been cus it was after 12 but that's still to much anyway in my books

By the way the poker night at my house has been cancelled due to old people not being very good at time management, will def be on a some point but apparently decorating the front room doesn't leave time for anything else, work that out. Want another game soon though so we'll have to sort something out

Well, apologies for the long one but there we go

Nice quote I heard earlier as well "A lie will have run around the world before the truth has got its boots on". Think about it.

A toast to Mumra the Ever Living

Burls

Cricket

SOLD OUT

Poker: The young V's the old

I need 4 robusts poker players to take on some old guys. My dads one (easy money he's never played before, but saying that look at the Peacock!) and one of my dads friends who's a competent on line player (but Shorty said that and he's not been that good). I need 4 good men to make a table. Prob next friday (24th) let me know if your interested. Will be the usual rules

Over and Out

Burls

YOUR MISSION, SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT

In 2006 a team of crack drinker's were accused of a crime they did not commit. After escaping a maximum security 'lock in' stockade they disappeared into the Scunthorpe underground. If you have a problem and you can find them? Maybe you can call on the 'Y' Team. der dad der dered der

Anyone For StickCricket?

Fancy another league on stickcricket add your names to the comments and I'l set it up.

Poker Prize

Youve all seen the green blazer they win at the us masters golf, and the belts they win at boxing. So here we have it the "It Used To Be About The Booze Poker Cap" p.s i`ll be wearing it for the first game coz I paid for it!

Cricket

I have got some tickets for the england pakistan test Sun 6 Aug at Headingley. Price for ticket is £24. First come first serve basis. Please can I have money A.S.A.P coz I am skint now.

Saturday Night

Just a reminder to anyone that didnt know, we have been invited to Chris Harpers 21st birthday doo this coming saturday at Polish Club!

Starts around 7 cheap as ought can go there and into town etc and enough money for the bus fair home!

over and out

Work is rubbish

Brumby's coming home! Had enough this week already coming home wednesday morning, anybody watching the champions league in the pub?

His T-shirt say's it all

Couldnt get the rest of this persons face in the pic due to the big nose. Who is it?

So much for just having a few beers!

SPOT THE DIFFERENCE

FRIDAY 3RD...NOT A BIG NIGHT OUT!!!

MY NAME IS EARL!!!!

DARNELL AND SOME SCRUFFY REDNECK!!!

Cricket

There are tickets available for the sunday 6 august at headingley for the test match (day 3 due to a friday start) tickets are £22.50, have to get a move on coz looks like we can only get them in blocks of 3!!!

THE EDUCATION OF TURKEY

Having just completed his first assignment of watching the Goonies, has anybody got any recomendations for other classic films he should spend his free time watching? I suggest Tremors with Kevin Bacon 'Broke into the god damn wrong rec room, didn't you, you bastard' and so on!

Just a quick question...

How come some word's are been underlined and in colour?just wondered how come they have just started poping up.

Any ideas????

Weekend

Has anybody got oat planned for this weekend?
I fancy going on a bender. I'll be back on friday at about nine. Let me know!

2000 on the Counter

Another milestone in it used to be about the booze's glourius history!!!

That means around about 750 views which aint one of us

Lovely Stuff

Millenium hand and shrimp!

Burls

Breaking New for Blogger Fans

IVE FINALLY WATCHED THE GOOOOOONNNNNIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SUCESS NO MORE PISS TAKING BECAUSE I WATCHED IT ON SATURDAY NIGHT.....I EVEN THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD FILM

March 20

We must pull together for this new holiday lads. Type in March 20th at google and the rest is explained there.

The 80's and 90's, Great days!

Appoligies for the lengths of theses but i think there good and the 80's one hits the spot

In the 80's

According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the early 80's probably shouldn't have survived, because our baby cots were covered with brightly coloured lead-based paint which was promptly chewed and licked. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, or latches on doors or cabinets and it was fine to play with pans. When we rode our bikes, we wore no helmets, just flip-flops and fluorescent 'spokey dokey's' on our wheels. As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or airbags - riding in the passenger seat was a treat. We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle and it tasted the same.
We ate chips, bread and butter pudding and drank fizzy juice with sugar in it, but we were never overweight because we were always outside playing. We shared one drink with four friends, from one bottle or can and no-one actually died from this. We would spend hours building go-carts out of scraps and then went top speed down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into stinging nettles a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We would
leave home in the morning and could play all day, as long as we were back before it got dark. No one was able to reach us and no one minded. No 99 channels on TV, no videotape movies, no surround sound, no mobile phones, no personal computers, no DVDs, no Internet chat rooms.
We had friends - we went outside and found them. We played elastics and rounders, and sometimes that ball really hurt! We fell out of trees, got cut, and broke bones but there were no law suits. We had full on fist fights but no prosecution followed from other parents. We played
chap-the-door-run-away and were actually afraid of the owners catching us. We walked to friends' homes. We also, believe it or not, WALKED to school; we didn't rely on mummy or daddy to drive us to school, which was just round the corner. We made up games with sticks and tennis balls. We rode bikes in packs of 7 and wore our coats by only the hood. The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law was unheard of...They actually sided with the law.
This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem solvers and inventors, ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all. This, my friends, is surprisingly frightening......and it might put a smile on your face: The majority of students in universities today were born in 1986........They are called youth. They have never heard of We are the World, We are the children, and the Uptown Girl they know is by Westlife not Billy Joel.
They have never heard of Rick Astley, Bananarama, Nena Cherry or Belinda Carlisle. (possibly not a bad thing of course....) For them, there has always been only one Germany and one Vietnam. AIDS has existed since they were born. CD's have existed since they were born. Michael Jackson has always been white. To them John Travolta has always been round in shape and they can't imagine how this fat guy could be a god of dance. They believe that Charlie's Angels and Mission Impossible are films from last year. They can never imagine life before computers. They'll never have pretended to be the A Team, Red Hand Gang or the Famous Five. They'll never have applied to be on Jim'll Fix It or Why Don't You. They can't believe a black and white television ever existed. And they will never understand how we could leave the house without a mobile phone.

In the 90's

10p Mr Frosty Ice Pops on long summer days!
Gordon the Gopher!
You owned or longed for an Adidas three stripe tracksuit
You owned a compilation tape with TOP TUNES such as "Mr Vain", "What
is love" and "Rhythm is a dancer" and 'How Bizarre, How Bizarre"
Girls actually fancied Garry Barlow more than Robbie Williams
The Racoons! (nuff said)
You owned a pair of Nike Air Max, and wore them to death
Mr Motivator (What ever happened to him?)
Running on the spot dancing! (WAYHEY THE RUNNING MAN...)
You owned a Bennetton, NafNaf, sweater shop jumper or waistcoat (or bag)
Girls owned scrunchies in an array of colours and tacky headbands with their names written on in thick glitter
You had a pen pal
You could only watch the Simpson's on sky
On a Saturday evening you watched Catchphrase, Gladiators, Generation Game, Noels House Party and then Casualty
You taped the Pepsi Chartshow on radio one and tired in vain to pause the tape before the annoying guy talked and ruined the whole thing.
Cans of Coke were 25p
10p Space Raiders Crisps
A grey Fruit of the Loom jumper was a must have
Sharkie & George were the crimebusters of the sea
You used the line "it's a free country" every day
The Sky Sports Blimp!
Hooch Alcoholic Lemonade (where's it gone?!)
'Don't forget your toothbrush', 'TFI' and Big Breakfast with Chris Evans
You know the dance to Macarena and Saturday Night. You also tried to scat like Scatman John! Bi bat ba ba da bo...
You watched Baywatch and longed for the day that Eddie & Sharni got
together!
You watched Byker Grove 'ha ha ha whatcha laughin at!' (the theme
song ending), and saw PJ get shot in the eye with a paintball!
PJ and Duncan not Ant and Dec! Dodgy Pop Not Dodgy Presenting!
Shellsuits & bumbags!
You longed to live in Beverley Hills 90210
Home and Away was a prime time ITV programme watched by millions
Fruit salads and black jacks!
Strike it lucky on a sunday night with Michael Barrymore when he was straight & married
Chain letters
You had fake ID
You remember Todd Landers in Neighbours
You religiously watched Saved by the Bell on a Saturday morning!
You more than likely lost/nearly lost a wobbly tooth on a wham bar!!
CK one (probably the fake one from the market)
Going Live, then Live and Kicking was the place to be on a Saturday Morning - you know you remember the number 0181 811 8181
You knew every word to the theme tune from Fresh Prince of Bel Air
You collected Premier League Stickers and did swoops at playtime
Girls wore crappy lipstick such as - coffee shimmer, heather shimmer
and birthday suit!
You wore kickers and wallaby's with the tags hanging from them
You thought saying - "I know you are, you said you are but what am
I" to every cuss that that came your way!
"love got the world in motion" with the John Barnes Rap
when you used to run away from some thing and shout ' leg iiiiiitt'

A Message for Rich

Don't forget to ask your mates about who did the website for Team Clown.

For anyone else who hasn't seen it I suggest you take a look

www.teamclown.co.uk

Its a pretty dam cool website and possibly the way forward for 'the booze'. It would possibly mean our own .com or .co.uk site as well

FOOTBALL SUNDAY

Just wondering if anyone fancies watching football at Rileys sunday afternoon?
Have a few jugs possibly go elsewere after? Dont think il be out saturday so make a day of it sunday, just a suggestion anyways

Poker Pics

The Mekon Regains His Crown!

I've put up a little poker league in place of the unused links on the left. As you can see I'm in the lead by 1.

Jacks luck seems to have dried up and wasn't ever a serious threat on sat. Perhaps a period of convalescence and reflection will bring him back to form.

Turkey played like his usual happy go lucky self, always worrying as he doesn't really understand the meaning of the word bluff.

Ric only seemed to have £50 in chips but always seemed to be still in. Work that out.

Shorty was drunk.

I always find it hard to remember what Dave did (apart from get a big lump on his head and I aint laughed like that in ages!) which means he must be a boring player, the Steve Davis of the poker world except Steve Davis plays poker so I don't know how that all works out in the end.

My worry is Andy "Dark Horse" Peacock. Never seen a poker face like it, and, although lucky at the final showdown, won a well deserved game. Kudos to you evil Andy.

A few good games and a good night, cheers lads

Burls over and out

Cricket

Dates for ODI at Headingly and Trent Bridge

England v Sri Lanka Sat 1st July 2006 Headingly

England v Pakistan, Fri Sept 8th 2006 (floodlit)

Ticket prices about £35.00 for both

Confessions of a Teenage Turkey (aged 7-19)

(Photo 1) The young Turks finally got to grips with a speak and spell! (Photo 2) Unfortunately he didn't learn the meaning of the word 'fashion'. (Photo 3) However he did learn the art of a Roy Keane tackle!!!!

The Things People Get in the Paper For

Look at shorty the athaletic power house that he is. Dave in an episode of one foot in the grave. If you look closley you can see Turkey is giving Jacks arse a tickle and from Jack's smile it looks like he likes it!

I've just been on a short trip to Vienna and I had a very disturbing conversation!

I was walking around an art gallery of 11th - 16th Centuary art, not understanding any of it, and mainly concentrating on the fact that Jesus was missing a penis in every single painting ( why?). Anyway, a seemingly nice man, started to describe some important features to us (except the penis thing), before suddenly stating that he was a firm believer in alternative therapies. He then proceeded to talk for ten minutes, telling us the benefits of drinking your own urine, and trying to persuade us to try it. Having never been in a situation like this, i had no idea how to make him stop and escape, and i spent the time thinking, this guy drinks his own piss! He also spoke of the benefits of rubbing it on your skin ( I couldn't smell anything dodgy), and I have to admit, his skin did look soft.

I knew there was a reason I tried to avoid being cultured and going to art galleries!

Picture put on by me on behalf of Rick

Poker

Poker is at Club 31a next Sat (18th) same as usual. 7.30
and im feeling lucky!


Praise be to the almighty blog!

Burls

THE MEKON DEMANDS YOUR OBEYANCE!!

Look at the link i put about a pos new site
Let me know your views
Surely Jacks got something to say!

Love and kisses
Burls

POKER

If burleys struggling for a venue this saturday can have poker at mine...club 31a again
Just let me no the numbers n that!
Cheers!

Al Murray - the Pub Landlord

Any body fancy going to see the above mentioned. Hes on at Grimsby Auditorium Thu 8 Jun. Not sure if it will sell out, so that why am asking so early.
Was any body intrested in going to the cricket this summer?

Possible New Site??

James sent me this link the other day

http://s15.invisionfree.com/aboutthebooze/index.php?act=idx

It could be the possible next step in the evolution of it used to be about the booze

Theres bits like about it (I won't go into the things that I don't cus Dave will just call me a geek)

Have a look, see what you think and comment if you would be so kind or if you have any questions ask James as he knows more about how this site works than me at the mo

Anyways I think im going bald so im going down to Boots to buy some hair in a can

Cheers

Burls

Few pics

Poker

Sat the 11th for the next game of poker at mine if your interested. Reply and let me know. The rest same as usual

Logo (altered)

After getting hold of a copy of the one turkey had it turned out to be a scan of a label itself and would have caused a few problems when it was being used. I had a look on tinternet for a digital version of the one he used and couldn't find one. I used one quite similar (same brand) and used the ideas that turkey had which looked great. Don't know what you think but it has 2005 on it for when we started and im prob going to add the names of everyone involved either arround the edge or next to the red star in the middle. anways let me know what you think (igonre the blue it just means transparent)