Thats right I'm the 'DICEMAN'

What should I do? We all ask this question everyday, so I've decided to let fate decide. No matter how big the decitions I'm going to assign a number to them and let the dice decide. I have a number of options open to me this weekend. This friday sees the return of the legendary 'walkback' (19 pubs from west drayton to uxbridge)
Start time 1330
Finish time 0130 (well about 11 for me, curse my old bones)
The problem is me and some of the other 'boozers' are off to Manchester to watch England on Saturday so I have a number of options of how to spend my friday night.

1: Complete the walk back and head home to Scunny bright and early on saturday and go stright to Manc (the obvious pitfall is I wont get up in time, the last time I tried to do this was after the Beer Festivel and i didn't make it back while gone 1700)

2: As above but head stright for manchester meet you there missing out scunny

3: Just do the first few pubs then head back to Scunny (Pissed up but will at leased be there)

4: Stright home stright to bed! (well almost if I take this option I'll be home around fiveish friday afternoon, My prefered choice but will the dice be kind??)

5: Go watch scunny play gillingham friday night, head home stright afterwards or saturday morning public transport permitting. (bit of a wast in time/money/life)

6: None of the above!

Let the Dice decide! you can play along at home to if you like just roll a die check the number with the corrosponding option and tell me what fate has decided for me. Remember the dice say is final!

I'm now operating on a higher plane than you idiots who let your brains to all the hard work like a bunch of suckers. Just sit back and roll the dice.

Has anybody got any dice I can borrow?!?!?!?!?!?

URBAN SPRINTING

Urban sprinting, could this be the next big sport were actually good at?

Pics from sunday night

SOME PICS FROM SUNDAY...ADD YOUR OWN CAPTIONS!

Where?

Where are we playing footy tomorrow????
Sombody take there camera phone and will do a cross bar challenge

FROG SONG!!!

I found it...sorry steve but this will do your head in now!

Can't post vids so...........

Post your fav comedy clips

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KE3g-N27A9k

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLtXx2349yA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hp69rg6Hdlo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjC3R6jOtUo&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1sQkEfAdfY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiFq_nk8pE0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mu02xUgE4k

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1sQkEfAdfY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ope-1Zb5t-k

Matrix Cow

Funniest thing ive seen in ages

ANOTHER SPORTING TRIP..UPDATE

Regarding the England match against andorra(2/9/06)
There is now 1 ticket left, after rick said he had signed up with the fa, but couldnt get hold of any internet access to purchase tickets, i did it for him.
3 have already gone so there is 1 left.
Who ever gives me money 1st gets it.

However if there more of you that want to go, if u go to the offical FA website and sign up, there is the chance you can purchase more tickets. Or go to manutd.com and theres a phone number to ring for tickets on general sale(cost £10 more then members price)

Jack

Another Sporting Trip

Anybody interested in going to watch England v Andorra
0n the 02/09/06.

Cost£30 Let me know ASAP

Chav Jokes

1. What do you call a Chav in a box?
Innit.
2. What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted
3. What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?
Safe.
4. What do you call an Eskimo Chav?
Innuinnit.
5. Why are Chavs like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs.
6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.
7. You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
It might be your bike.
8. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.
9. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
"What you lookin' at?"
10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
Paint three stripes on it.
11. Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
The police
12. What do you call a Chav with 9 GCSEs?
A liar.
13. What do you say to a Chav with a job?
Can I have fries with that?
14. What do you say to a Chav in a suit?
Will the defendant please stand
15. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame?
A Nova seats 4
16. What do you call a 30 year old chavette?
Granny.
17. What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river?
A start.
18. Why did the Chav cross the road?
To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.
19. What do you call a Chav at college?
The cleaner.
20. Two chavs jump off beachy head, who wins?
Society

Hope I don't give Jack flash backs!

BANK HOLIDAY MONDAY

Just wondering if anybody has any ideas/plans for this bank holiday weekend??
No doubt beer is on the agenda, but lets try and stay out later then midnight,people!!!

And dont use the.."im getting old" excuse!
Although Burley has a valid excuse, he can no longer see the bar at that time so goes home, then again he walks round with his eyes shut so he cant see anything at all really?!
Anyways people, let me know

Cheers!!!!

THROW THE JEW DOWN THE WELL

Wakey wakey!!!!

I See Drunk People

Poor bloke. Another great night out. Tom got a chinese, Turkey and Susan had an arguement, a group of women played with Jacks hair, Jack and Andy were the last 2 leave. All the ingredents of another great night out and standard to About the Booze piss ups

Althought 2 things happended that I cant explaine. 1) A girl spoke to me (but i think she prob thought I was someone else so thats explained) 2) Iv'e broken my little toe on the left foot by stubbing my toe (which happened sunday morning. I knew I should have staid in bed)

I had a good night apart from that. We'll maybe cus of that who knows

love and kisses

Burls

Madness

I found this funny.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/5261856.stm

Laws I Hate You!

Well, well, well

another perfectly good saturday wasted. The day started of badly and got worse. First we got the wrong train and had to change at Donny (Where the R.A.C lived up to there name by running away from some mean looking girls). As we approached Rotherham or Barter town (from mad max 3) which it looks a lot like, we we're again forced to use are running away skills from this nasty looking bunch of school children. Next up find a pub! Easy or so you'd think. Asking a copper where the best place to have drink was he said "follow the road down and theres a nice little boozer". What he ment was go down here and theres a shithole selling pissy beer for £2.50 and no sky sports. On entering the ground (£20 to get in and it does look a bit like the thunderdome, Steve said he thought he saw Tina Turner but it turned out to be Mad Mick in a wig) we were witness to what can only be described as complete and utter dog shit, the third worst football match I've ever seen. (The worst being loosing to Donny 5 nil and the infamous 2-1 home defeat by Chester City). When the horror show was over the terror continued with a two hour train ride home with people that can only be described as human vermin! So to sum up the day £40 down the drain and 8 hours of my life I'l never get back. Why do we bother?

But I won some money off Shorty so its not all bad!

Burlys Bird

Whilst out last night Burls confessed that he loves big birds. Guess I was just getting the wrong end of the stick again.

DISCO MOTOR BIKE MAN

A CLASSIC CLIP FROM LAST YEAR!!!

EXTREME PICNIC IS COMING!!!

BANK HOLIDAY THIS MONTH, AN IDEA OF BURLS....EXTREME PICNIC IS COMING!!!!

Couple of hours to waste????

http://unoriginal.co.uk/stormthehouse.html

For some unknown reason I can't post links from this works machine. If you've got a bit of time to waste while your in the office (I'm looking at you Burley) why not try this lovely game. I made it to day 49 before my arm got tired (and I've got a lot of practise with my right arm over the years) Good night and Good luck.

As you were.

Beer Thursday

Anybody fancy a few beers thursday night?

Whats going on here?

THIS WAS A PICTURE FROM THE CRICKET, UPON 1ST INSPECTION I DIDNT SEE MUCH OF IT, WELL APART FROM US BEING PISSED, HOWEVER WHEN I GOT THEM DEVELOPED, I WAS SHOCKED!!!
WHAT THE HELLS RICK DOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Roundabout of Hell

Seen as though we are having a few vids on watch this its great. To answer the first question that popped into my head, no chav's were seriously hurt in the making of this film. Apparently someone rang the hospital and checked and there wern't any admissions to Crawley hospital that day with any injures that might have resulted in such an accident

You might have seen it before but seeing chav's get hurt always amuses

JAGSHEMASH!!!

I CANT WAIT FOR THIS TO COME OUT!!!

Old women fighting

Seen as steve wanted more, here you go, old lady turns into mike tyson.
Some guys edited it to Franz Ferdinad music...enjoy

ZIDANE HEAD-BUTT GAME

INSTRUCTION MOVE HIM UP AND DOWN WITH MOUSE LEFT CLICK TO HEADBUTT...ENJOY

DANCE MACHINE LEGEND!!!

REMEMBER THE DANCE MACHINE AT BOWLING, WE THOUGHT WE WERE GOOD, LOOK AT THIS GUY GO!!!!
HES AN EXPERT, WELL HE IS UNTIL THE END WHEN HE COCKS UP!

Quick Question!

Does anybody fancy going to Rotherham to watch scunny (draw proberbly) on saturday the 19th. I've not seen a game as yet and I'm getting bored. Only about a £10 for a day return and takes just over an hour by train. Just wondering if anybody fancied a good old fastioned away day, couple of beers on the train and that?
All so what about the bank holiday at the end of the month (26th-28th) thought I'd ask now as it takes us two weeks to organise a game of bowling!

Cheers fellas.

3,2,1 wooden benches!

For Your Info, I'm Incumudacarna!

It's taken 18 months but they've finally caught up with me and making me work this weekend (I would of let you know by text but my phones at Jacks). So don't expect to see me out or at the footy cos I'm at work.
Just thought I'd let you know, rather than you lot trying to ring me and me not answering, then you thinking I'm ignoring you, then being shuned like a social leapper that I am, then having to kill my self because I've become so depressed by your rejections.
Anyway see you all on my four days off on the 17th

Karate monkey

For some gay reason I can't get the video to show, so you'll just have to click on the link -
http://www.videoclipstream.com/akamai/h-l/karatechimp/karatechimp.html

And something about gingervitis
http://www.gingerkids.org/faq.html

Burley's big Day Out

Look at me!

The first ones me in the Dug out obviously shouting at a player who's done something wrong and the second is me in the away end goal mouth.

Have you lot ever done that? didn't think so not real fans like me

TURKEY GOES ERM...GANGSTA???

ANSWERS ON A POSTCARD

Another vid from Jack

(im really goging to have to teach him how to do it)

Some Vids from Cricket

Jacks asked me to put this on for him. From what I heard it sounded like a good day. Lots of beer and Steve and Ric engaged in a friend to friend punch up (almost). Quality

Fantasy League

Just created another Fantasy League on www.metro.co.uk if u want to join the "it used to be about the BOOZE...Scunthorpe league" just create a team then join a private league and enter the pin 3774

Cheers

Turks

sCUNThorpe!!!!

Something i found on the net from that "urban" dictionary, obviously some of it posted by people from Hull

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=scunthorpe

FANCY DRESS

Dunno what some people are doing for fancy dress, I know some of us are still up for it, but ive heard theres some bottlers!! tut tut tut

Well me n some others will probably go to a fancy dress shop friday or saturday, have a look n that.

Adios

www.mentalists-only.com

http://chaoswarriors-guild.blogspot.com/

Have a look at this blog. It's amazing!